What a shinning example.

As I was catching up on today's news/blogs, I came across Seth Grahame-Smith' article on Sarah Palin. I wish I had written this.. hope you enjoy it as well

So let's set the record straight. Sarah Pahlen (sp?) is not only more qualified for the Oval Office than Barack Obama -- she might just be the most qualified political candidate in our nation's history:

1. Putting Country First - Her membership in the Alaska Independence Party proves that she's exactly the kind of leader America needs: the kind that will always put country first -- even if that country happens to be The Republic of Alaska. Obama claims he loves America -- but has he ever loved it enough to favor seceding from it? It's called tough love, Senator. Look into it.

2. Independence - Sarah hates indicted Senator Ted Stevens, but raised money for him. She hates the "bridge to nowhere," but supported it. She wants to shatter Hillary's glass ceiling, but wears t-shirts touting the size of her boobs. We're dealing with an innovative politician; one who refuses to be categorized. Obama may call himself the candidate of "change," but Sarah Pailen's (sp?) entire political life has been about saying one thing, and then doing another. Now that's "change we can believe in."

3. Family Values - This is someone who's not afraid to preach abstinence for your daughter, even though her own unmarried 17-year-old daughter is pregnant. This is someone who's not afraid to hop on a plane from Texas to Alaska while she's in premature labor. This is someone who's not afraid to hit the campaign trail with a 5-month-old special needs baby. That's what I call dedication to family. Obama, on the other hand? A Muslim.

4. Intellect - Yes, Sarah recently admitted that she didn't know exactly what it was the Vice President did. Yes, she wants creationism taught in public schools. Yes, she doesn't believe global warming is manmade. But I'd like to point out the fact that she wears glasses -- and that's not something dumb people generally do. Obama? No glasses.

Military Affairs - As Governor, Pollen (sp?) is authorized to deploy Alaska's National Guard in times of emergency. And while the Guard's Adjunct General admits that she plays no role in national defense, and isn't briefed on military exercises, the fact is -- she's been photographed holding a machine gun, while Obama has yet to wield so much as a .38 for the cameras. When it comes to keeping me safe, that's all I need to know.

6. Foreign Affairs - While Obama likes to take Middle East tours, meet with Europe's leaders, and brag about his running mate being the foreign policy voice of the Senate, he can't hold a candle to Palenn's (sp?) understanding of today's complex, dangerous world. Yes, Sarah admitted that she hadn't paid much attention to the war in Iraq, but she knew enough to rightly call it a "task from God." Yes, she's only left North America once in her life, but her experience as a local sportscaster gave her the ability to follow events as they unfold at lightning speed. And as Cindy McCain pointed out, while Barack Obama was sipping lattes in Cambridge Square, Sarah Pinkston (sp?) was staring down the barrel of Putin's Kalashnikov -- a one woman wall keeping America safe from invasion.

7. Restoring America's Image - Who better than a former beauty queen to add some new luster to America's battered image? Paylen (sp?) will take a proverbial can of Aqua Net to our nation's unruly hair, and apply liberal (no pun intended) amounts of blush to Lady Liberty's cheekbones. In a word, she'll dazzle the world with her charm and style. Even the most anti-Western extremists will melt when they see the People and Vanity Fair spreads of Sarah warming her fur-lined extremities over burning science textbooks. And how would Obama restore our leadership in the world? The question we should be asking is: why does he only have two children, while Sarah has at least twice that number? What does Senator Obama have against America's children?

8. Her Soul - In one 15-minute meeting, and one follow-up phone call, John McCain was able to determine that Sarah was more than his running mate -- she was his "soul mate." Not only that, but that she was more qualified to be a heartbeat away from the Oval Office than any Republican on earth. Yes, this is a testament to the power and quickness of McCain's decision making. But it's also a testament to the power of Sarah Payton's (sp?) soul. As a Muslim, it's not even clear that Obama has a soul.

So is Sarah Pillston (sp?) qualified to be Vice President? To be one bad biopsy away from being the most powerful human being on earth? To lead America back to prominence and prosperity, while keeping us safe from a world of ever-changing threats?

In her own words: "Yup...yup."

Is this the face of the modern day devil, the antichrist? Lord knows that like Regan from the excorcist, this bitch scares me.

What scares me the most is the outcry of support this "pig" is getting

What is it about this relatively unknown woman, who was snatched from a obscure small Town in Alaska. What is it about her that would qualify her to be a Vice Presidential candidate.

Will the whole of America embrace this woman and her far right of center views.

She has said that she is qualified because she has been a mayor and the Governor of Alaska. Is that enough to be elected to the 2nd highest office.

It is said she is qualified because she is MOM. The are hundreds of thousands of mothers,but they are no more qualified than she is.

Is she just a pawn, being used by the McCain machine as a distraction to the fact that he is a carbon copy of Bush, or that he has severe medical issues that could affect or cut short his reign if elected.

Is she qualified to run this country if McCain' health becomes an issue.

It is clear to me that she has not demonstrated the necessary skills to be our leader in any capacity.

She has said that she is in favor of abstinence only sex education programs.

Is she even qualified to represent her own party? It is clear that Mrs. Palin's political stance and personal life are in opposition.

How can she represent her party of the moral right, while her underage daughter is pregnant. Questions regarding "her" last child and whether it is actually hers are being raised. It seems her daughter took 5 months off from school for an illness. The child is 5 months old. Mrs Palin has stated that she had a c-section and was back to work in three days, and jogging.

It now seems that the father of Bristol Palin's unborn baby is in question. It is being reported that Bristol had unpretected premarital sex with a young African-American who was visiting his Unlce in Alaska, and got her preganant before returning to Los Angeles.

I question her ability to run this nation, and make the necessary decisions, when she is unable to see, by her own daughters condition, that abstinence alone doesn't work.

Let's face it, it wasn't that long ago that we were teenagers as well. The first thing I wanted to do was the first thing they told me not to do. Kids are going to have sex no matter how many times we tell them not to.

I am not knocking abstinence, but i believe that it should be a part of a comprehensive sexual educational plan.

Would you allow your child to ride a new bike with out the appropriate safety gear? (e.g. a helmet, elbow and knee pads etc) Why would you not prepare your child for the inevitability of sex. Perhaps she is unaware then the only way to propagate our species is sex, it is written in to our genes to copulate.

She has stated that the war is god's plan. How does she know it's god's plan? Did he directly speak to her? There are several fundamental problems with this idea.


1. If it's god's plan, how will you ever know the plan.
2. As long as it is god's plan, then you have no personal responsibility
3. If the war is god's plan then you have to say that, Katrina, Aids, her child's birth defect and the other daughter's pregnancy are also god's plan
4. What happens if you claim its god's plan, and you lose.

When we hear this type of thing form a homeless person, they are considered a kook and often committed. Yet she is exalted, to the 2nd highest position.

How will she sit at the table and deal with leaders of every religion. It is clear to me, that she is not aware that our nation was built on the separation of church and state.

I question her ability to lead, if her decisions will be based on her religious beliefs. Leaders must consider how the decisions they make will affect the meltingpot of Americans that make up this great country. We can not afford to have leadership make decisions that are solely based on their belief in the invisable.

In a recent speech Mrs Palin said that the bail out of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were too big and had cost taxpayers too much. These institutions were not taxpayer funded until the bail out. She had no idea who they were or what they did.

Mrs. Palin is starting to sound a lot like Dan Quayle. Well she be able to spell potato.

When asked by Charlie Gibson if she agreed with the Bush doctrine -- the administration's policy of preemptively striking another country in the face of potential attack -- Palin seemed unfamiliar with the term.

Palin initially said she interpreted the "Bush doctrine" to mean the president's "world view."

It would seem that there are questions as to whether she has abused her authority as Governor. Palin is embroiled in her own trooper-gate scandal up in Alaska. In short, she's accused of using her pull as governor to get her ex-brother-in-law fired as a state trooper. The brother-in-law is embroiled in an ugly divorce and custody with Palin's sister. And after his boss wouldn't fire the brother-in-law, she fired the boss. Palin originally insisted there was nothing to the story. More recently, she was forced to admit the one of her top deputies had pushed to get the guy fired.

To quote Obama, you can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig...

Courtesy Flush

If you are unfamiliar with the term, let me bring you in to 2008.

Do you remember what common courtesy is. In today's society it seems to be a thing of the past. People are so self absorbed that getting anyone to even hold a door open for you, is an effort in futility.

I am desperatly trying to bring back common courtesy and good manners. One of the most important courtesies we could all add to our repetoire is the COURTESY FLUSH.

I am really amazed that this didnt catch on before now.

So what exactly is a courtsey flush? It is the act of flushing the toilet immediately after evacuating your bowels, to prevent the smell from peeling the paint.

Why people do not do this automatically is beyond me. In my 40+ years I have had the misfortune to walk in to public & work bathrooms and be brought to tears by the offensive perfume, of the asshole the stall.

Why someone would want to marinate in that funk, is beyond me. I know they can smell it as well, and they do nothing, but sit in there and breath deeply, as if it was an oxygen bar. More funk sir?

I beseech you, the next time you find yourself in a public restroom and your shit doesnt smell like roses, do yourself and everyone else a favor, and spare the air with a courtesy flush.

ps.. and you are too lazy to flush ..try the great products at www.courtesyflush.com

ASS GRAB

Do you watch sports? Are you an armchair quarterback? Do you know team names, colors and stats?

Well don't fret, as a self proclaimed loud mouth, opinionated A-typical fag, I don't either. Fear not, as this rant is not about sports, but about the infamous straight guy ass grab during games.


Now you might be asking yourself how I even know about the phenomenon. But as odd as it sounds, some of my best friends are straight.

If you are unfamiliar with this odd custom, then let me shine some light on the subject.

As a gay person, I have limited first hand experience at organized sports. I have played Tetherball, Tennis, Volleyball in high school, and as a result any ass grabbing that occurred was not related to the sports. Since my experience is limited, I had to gather data from straight sources.

Let's first examine how is happens. According to my sources, when a team makes a "score" it is appropriate to pat the ass of a fellow team mate, and say "Good Game".

Although i only know a few straight people, I have seen them in the wild. The majority of straight men i have encountered would interpret a casual ass grab as a personal attack not only to their person, but their masculinity. Yet, somehow all homophobia flies out the window when they are in drag. Once they have on the shoulder pads, skin tight pants, and are running,tackling and rolling on top of each other, it becomes okay to grab each others ass.

When I inquired as to why this happens or even why it is accepted, i was met with reproach. How dare i question a national past-time. I was informed that you cant just grab the ass of a fellow team mate, you must say "good game" otherwise it is can be interpreted as gay.

What is it about the magical words "good game" that makes grabbing another man ass move from homosexual to heterosexual.

I wonder if these words truly have any significants,like open seasame. I mean would they work for me in the stands of a game? Could i grab the ass of another fan and say good game, and not get pummeled to death. I doubt it, hence the reason I didn't do any field research for this.

Why is it that if a gay man grabs your ass, it a personal attack, but if another straight man does it, well then we need a high five and another beer.

We may be pondering this for all time......

The Election...........Will History Be Made ?

Recent events have urged me to ponder several national questions......

Is the country ready for a black president, Can a woman, who can't control her husband, be president. How old is to old to be president.


Are these really the questions that are plaging america? Lets examine them one by one.

Are we ready for a BLACK president. I am flabbergasted that this question is being asked in 2008. For as far as we have come, we have not moved at all. Setting the race war aside for now, can a black man be president.

After the last loser, how bad could it be. Ia america worried that he will lie to us, appoint his unqualified friends to high ranking postions, embezzel money, start a war.

Well the current bastard did all of those things and yet, no one has seriously called for his impeachment. I believe that if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. We can't truly complain about what we let happen.

When Clinton got his dick sucked by Monica, our elected officials lost thier fucking minds We launched in to investigations, and impeachment proceedings. Over a blow job. Why you ask. Religion.

We are at war over a lie, but because Bush has GOD on his side its all good.


Can Hilary control Bill, who will really be president? I am not sure how to respond to this question. Can anyone control their significant other?? Bill made significant contributions to America both during and after his presidency. People have suggested that becuase she will be emotional and that since Bill has cheated on her, she will be more concerned about his wearabouts and wont be able to focus on being president. Do we ask this same question of the male candidtes? Are we holding her to a different standard because she has a vagina?

How would America respond to a divorce in the white house.


Should any of this be used in picking the next president, should we be concerned with gender or race? Should we simply choose the person that we feel would do the best job.

Will there always be questions like, did he do that because he is black, did she let her emotions get the best of her.

What about McCain can a 70 year old man be president? Do we have to be careful who his running mate, as it is likely that they will replace him. Will his health be a concern, what about demensia or alzheimers?

will we just pick the lesser of 3 evils