You betta work BITCH

Okay, so I know, it has been like forever, since I posted anything. I wish I had an excuse..but I don't.... I haven't really been in the mood since Paula died.

But something happened to me that made me want to write this shit down.

Hold on to your underwear.. I got to meet Rupaul..who..who who you say I said RUPAUL.. I know shut up... no way but its true. I know...I could just pee.. and I did a little.

Is was the Rainbow Festival this weekend in Sacramento.. SO like a good fag, I didn't even get motivated till the last minute... I thought I had planned to go with some friends.. but due to whatever reason(insert favorite reason here) they flaked. No need to name names, you bitches know who you are (I mean that in the nicest way).

I decided to go at the last minute and didn't think that I wouldn't have a chance in hell of getting in. I had to park 3 blocks away.. Yes bitches I walked 3 blocks.

When I got to the door of FACES, there was already a freakeshly long line, all the way passed the alley. There were 2 lines, one for those with a weekend pass, and those who didn't. Needless, to say I had to get in the line without. As I took my place in line and waited and waited, the security guards were yelling that they wouldn't be letting anymore people in, that they had reached capacity. I could see through the new windows, and it didn't look that full to me, but I wasn't counting so, what do I know. As they were yelling people were getting out of line, allowing me to move up. At one point the owner of Faces, Terry, was walking by and stopped to talk to me. Terry and I used to build floats together in he back of the Mercantile, in the Nineties. Anywho, he stopped to talk to me saying that he wasn't sure whether I would get in, I was pretty close, but they were at 750 people, which is capacity, he thought they should allow 1000 people in.

There was more yelling, asking each individual if they had a pass, if not there was no need to stand here, cause they weren't letting anyone in. I decided to I would take my chances. More people decided to leave the line and I was then number 3 or 4, couldn't really tell since it wasn't a straight line, when Terry walked by and saw me still standing there, and made me his personal guest, and telling the security guards to let me in. I was ushered in and given a wristband, and pointed in the direction of the new bar.

I ordered a Corona, and made my way through the crowd, checking out all the new work. I finally ended up on the video room, which is where I usually am. I sat on the sidebar and watched the videos. I was approached by a 500/600 pound man and asked to dance. I thought about it and said why the hell not.

So he led me to the dance floor and as we were dancing his belly kept rubbing against me and he was telling how well I dance and how gorgeous I was and when he said this I actually looked him in his crossed eyes and laughed.. right about then they announced 5 minutes till Rupaul.

I told Alfonzo that I was here to see the show, and made my way to the tent.
It was crowded but by no means at capacity. When she finally made her entrance it was to screams and hollering.

The wig was workin, the outfits were beautiful and the beats were banging.
although the show was only about 10 songs, it was way cool. She did re-worked version of her hits and a couple of new songs and then announced that she would be selling her cd's and dvd's and signing them.

I got right in line and ended up being 8th in line. I tried to take pictures but was told no by her security and they were flashing their lights in to the cameras they saw. When it was my turn, I paid my money and stepped up. She was gracious and asked how to spell my name. Is it teddy with a Y, she asked. She signed my cd and I said thanks for the emails as well. She said Teddy... is your least name Kis, I said yes..she said I remember you and I stepped around the table we hugged. I said that it was really nice to meet you. Her security was ushering me out, I said thanks and left.

It was awesome.. She was so very nice and real (well as real as you can be while wearing full drag)

It is clearly a highlight in my life..


A Big Kiss to Rupaul

Paula Bowman

03/08/06


This is my good friend Paula..

unfortunately she had a heart attack and passed away today

I do not know how to even begin to process this, after 2 bottles of wine.. I still do not have the answer.

I have been flooded with emotions, and not just my own. I kinda took the 411 role and called everyone to let them know.

I loved Paula... Her infectious smile, her outrageous laughter, her spirit.
I will miss my Foody friend.. we were always on a search for the best hot link.
She was so courageous.. dinner she would tell the waiter to bring her what ever he liked, surprise her..

a couple weeks back we went to see brokeback mountain, and we basically share a seat, and popcorn and she almost fell asleep, we then had dinner at dos coyote..

the day after thanksgiving 2005, Paula dropped by to get a plate.. for some reason she loved my cooking... I fixed her a big plate..including Pie.. she had a second helping of my macaroni and cheese and Pie and we crawled in to my bed and watched movies all day until about 9pm.

I will miss her calls, wanting me to talk her out of a QVC/HSN purchase, or her return troubles. Paula may have been instrumental in stores changing their return policies.. She was the return queen.



I will miss her, she was the kinda person that I would call to talk about this..

my world is diminished....

Paula I love you.. May you find happiness and peace,, and a great piece of carrot cake.

War on Terror.. is it over.. ???

It would seem that the war on terror is over, do not get me wrong, we are still at war, and our troops can't come home.

Another blunder by this administration. The sale of British Port operator P&O to Dubai Ports World, of the United Arab Emirates, was approved by the Bush Administration.

This sale seems to make Michael Moore right? It would seem that Michael was absolutely correct in his statements that Georgie is in bed with the enemy.

Georgie announced the "war on terror". Yet approved a sale that would place Arab people in charge of our ports.

Let me state for the record, that I do not believe all Arabs are terrorists, but how do you tell the difference? Is that racist?, it might be, but they have tried to kill us.

We have seen how extremist they can be, strapping bombs to themselves, entering crowds of their own people, and committing suicide.

How can you tell? We had terrorist cells right here in our midst, and didn't know it.
They rented our apartments, used our Laundromats, bought our groceries, watched our TV programs, went to our flight schools and orchestrated 9/11 .

The sale should have violated homeland security policy. It will give them access to strengths and weaknesses of our ports.

Their religious convictions are very different than ours. They are not as obvious in their associations, as say our skinheads or the KKK are.

It will only take one person with association to Al QUEDA, Taliban, to pass on the port information. More than 400,000 cargo containers move among our ports everyday.

It has been reported that the UAE will not be in charge of security, but even we can not police more than 400,000 containers everyday. This seems way to easy.

We have heard tapes from Osama saying they are gearing up again for another attack, and we are allowing them to run our ports. Does the sale seem purposeful to anyone else!

Does anyone feel like this whole thing is nothing more than a Roadrunner and Wyle Coyote sketch, and we are the Coyote and this going to backfire in our face.

I thought we were fighting them over there, so we don't have to fight them here. If this is true, why are we sending them invitations?

How bad does Clinton's Blowjob seem now.. The blowjob was grounds for starting impeachment proceedings.

I wonder when we will get it......

Truth , Lies and Wire Tapping

There are arguments on both sides of this debate. So here is mine.

Do I want my Government to thwart terrorist attacks, saves lives.. I answer a resounding YEEESSS. Do I want them to do it at the cost of our civil liberties.. I scream NO...NO ... NO.....

Let us not forget the old adage " if you give them an inch , they will take a mile"
We only need look back at the early 1900's and the invention of the internal revenue service. A temporary agency to get us out of the depression, and yet here we are in 2006, paying more than ever.

If President Bush really believed that wire tapping is warranted, then why not go ahead and get the appropriate warrants. He has access to a special court, that issues only these warrants. There is no waiting in line, or making an appointment.

With all the other scandals he has been involved in, 9/11, Katrina, outing of a CIA agent, you would think if not him, then at least his people, would have warned him how stupid this decision was.

I can't trust this administration, they have lied and failed to act, too many times.

I guess I can feel thankful, this is his last term.

Brokeback Mountain - it ain't all that

Entertainment Weekly Owen Gleiberman
Brokeback Mountain is that rare thing, a big Hollywood weeper with a beautiful ache at its center. It's a modern-age Western that turns into a quietly revolutionary love story.

100Rolling Stone Peter Travers
Ang Lee's unmissable and unforgettable Brokeback Mountain hits you like a shot in the heart. It's a landmark film and a triumph for Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal.

100The Hollywood Reporter Ray Bennett
Anne Proulx's 1997 short story in the New Yorker has been masterfully expanded by screenwriters Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana to provide director Lee with his best movie since "Sense and Sensibility" in 1995.

100Premiere Glenn Kenny
Lee and company handle the particulars of the tale with the requisite meticulousness and exquisite taste that marks all the director's films.

100San Francisco Chronicle Mick LaSalle
Carries a lot of emotional power.

100Christian Science Monitor Peter Rainer
Brokeback Mountain is a tragedy because these men have found something that many people, of whatever sexual persuasion, never find - true love. And they can't do anything about it.

100The New York Times Stephen Holden
Mr. Ledger magically and mysteriously disappears beneath the skin of his lean, sinewy character. It is a great screen performance, as good as the best of Marlon Brando and Sean Penn.

100Los Angeles Times Kenneth Turan
Confidently directed by Ang Lee and featuring sensitive and powerful performances by Jake Gyllenhaal and a breathtaking Heath Ledger, this film is determined to involve us in the naturalness and even inevitability of its epic, complicated love story.

100Wall Street Journal Joe Morgenstern
Brokeback Mountain aspires to an epic sweep and achieves it, though with singular intimacy and grace.
100USA Today Mike Clark
It's a heart-wrenching portrayal of unfulfilled Wyoming love, but this time, we don't mean Alan Ladd and Jean Arthur in "Shane."

100New York Daily News Jami Bernard
Gently unfolds into an epic, heartbreaking love story that's far greater than the sum of its parts.

100Newsweek David Ansen
There's neither coyness nor self-importance in Brokeback Mountain--just close, compassionate observation, deeply committed performances, a bone-deep feeling for hardscrabble Western lives. Few films have captured so acutely the desolation of frustrated, repressed passion.

100Empire Staff (Not credited)
The real revelation here is Heath Ledger as the bruised and sometimes brutal Ennis. His tortured secret is the tragedy and the ecstasy of this powerful and moving film, a smart study of relationships that could but can't and never will be.

100Chicago Sun-Times Roger Ebert
Brokeback Mountain has been described as "a gay cowboy movie," which is a cruel simplification. It is the story of a time and place where two men are forced to deny the only great passion either one will ever feel. Their tragedy is universal.

100Miami Herald Rene Rodriguez
This poignant, wise and subtle picture -- which, yes, happens to be the best movie of the year -- should be approached with humble expectations. Lee's approach to this delicate material is suffused with melancholy, metaphors and small, telling touches that favor subtlety over exclamation points and rough-hewn simplicity over grandiloquence.

100Charlotte Observer Lawrence Toppman
An experience as tender and troubling as any you're likely to get - or not likely, if this subject puts you off.

100The New Republic Stanley Kauffmann
So in all the tumult about this film, the eruption of its subject into wide attention and the consequent revelations about cowboys' lives in the past, let us--without forgetting the American sources of the screenplay--acknowledge the anomaly that the director is Chinese.


Dave gave it a10:
Incredible movie. The end hit me like a punch that knocks the wind out of you. I'm very open minded and have many gay friends, but was still a bit nervous about seeing this movie. If you love good film and are still haven't seen this movie, see it! The romantic scenes are very tastefully done and well acted. After a while you practically forget this movie is about two guys falling in love.

Fred J. gave it a9:
A really great movie.

Wanda M. gave it a10:
This was a amazing movie. I cried my heart out. I was hoping that they ended up together.

paul gave it a10:
This film still haunts me after seeing it for the second time. Beautiful and tragic, what an experience in film making and viewing. The best movie experience I have ever had.

Malcolm H. gave it a10:
Simultaneously epic and intimate. An almost perfectly realized film. But I must remind the naysayers - the aging in the film shouldn't be an issue, don't forget at the end of the movie Jack and Ennis are still only 39 to 40! Wrinkles, paunches and arthritis are not required at 40 years old. One of still fairly youthful.



Can any one movie live up to all the hype this movie is generating. This movie is being touted as the Messiah Movie.. the next coming.

Can one movie change the consciousness of the planet. If it can, is this the movie.

For the sake of argument, let us say this may be the one. Is the movie that will change the world really about 1950's cowboys? Are sweeping vistas, campfires, and sheep the catalysts for the change.

I can not say that I agree with any of the above praises. I do not believe this movie lives up to any of the hype. I believe the hype was inflated on purpose.. a marketing strategy to encourage us to see it.

It worked on me, I do not like westerns or cowboy movies, yet I was compelled to see what all the drama was about.

I was disappointed. I found most of the movie to be dull and boring. I found the dialogue lacking, and because of Heath Ledger's mumbling I was often sitting on the edge of my seat, leaning, straining to understand him. This was very annoying.

People were outraged at the sex in the movie. I also found this less than expected. There is more sex on soap opera's, than there was in this movie. There was kissing and you were led to believe that they had sex. No actual sex scenes were shown or even the imitation of sex.

I did find humor in spots. I do not think humor was intended, and I laughed all by myself. There is a scene the morning after the assumed sex, where Ennis says "I ain't no queer". Isn't this what all straight boys say right after they have fucked you in to unconsciousness. thisd statement is usually proceeded by I've never done this before. Typical, which for me is why it was a laughed out loud, streams of tears running down my face moment.

The second scene that was laugh out loud was the argument in the kitchen between Ennis and his x wife. The wife is confronting him, that she knows what he does because of a note on the fishing pole and calls Jack Twist by the name Jack Nasty.
Again, I was the sole laugher.

Is this a good stand alone movie.. Sure. Does it live up to the critics reviews. I think not. In urban venacular " it was good, but it wasn't all that".

Road to Paradise...Paved to heaven or hell

I just finished a Tivo'd program with Barbara Walters about heaven and hell and how do we get there. Very interesting, and often humorous.

Cardinal McCarrick says we are not made for this world we are made for heaven, we are made for the future, all these years on earth are to get to the next place.

so then why? If we are here only to get to the next place, and the next place is so fabulous, why are we not killing ourselves to get there?


Imam Raff, says that the next life is the real life, and how we live this life determines where we will end up. I guess reality is subjective.

Has the idea of heaven really been reduced to a pitch line for advertisers. If it is so sacred why is it used to sell cream cheese and chicken wings? Now, I know some people who would say that fried chicken with a good scald on it is heavenly. How do advertisers draw the conclusion that the taste of their chicken is equivalent to basking in the light of GOD.

In the 80's were the GOGO's right? Should we stop looking to a make believe land far far away and just make heaven a place on earth?

We are told that when we go to heaven we all will be reunited with our family and pets. That we can fish with Hemmingway, chat with Einstien, or play the piano with Mozart. Can angels play the piano? Angels have most commonly been referred to as beings of light. Do they have hands? Are they energy or corporeal?

Is heaven just a wish? A comforting wish, somewhere over the rainbow., that we use to explain the unexplainable.

The early Christians believed that we were not worthy to enter the kingdom of GOD as flesh and blood, all people will be transformed to spiritual beings filling heaven with angels. We were spirited off in a fiery chariot.

Cardinal McCarrick said he believes the body goes to heaven, their is a resurrection of the body. We cremate and bury hundreds of people everyday. Corpses are often exhumed for DNA. If we find the corpse in the coffin are we to assume this person went to hell. If you are cremated do the ashes go to heaven. If they are in an urn on a mantel, did that person go to hell?

When asked if we look the same in heaven Father McCarrick said he hopes to get his hair back. So is the Hair Club for Men just an outreach program from heaven?
He then said we will look like we want to look. I can't wait to be dripping in diamonds and furs.

Reverend Calvin Butts said that heaven is in another dimension. Can heaven then be explained by quantum physics. Is it 2 or 3 dimensional?

Fizal Raoof said that in heaven we will be in comfortable homes, reclining on silk couches and have servants, young servants to regale us, we will be given the delights of food, wine, and sex all positive with no negatives. If overindulgence in wine and food is a sin, and sex is a carnal sin and a sin of the flesh, can these really be allowed in heaven?

If Jesus died on the cross to wash us clean of all sins, why do we need to be reborn. What is the purpose of baptism. How can we be born with original sin, if it has been cleansed by Jesus.

Pastor Haggard describes heaven as a place somewhere, more specifically that this place we are in is first heaven, outerspace is the second heaven and then there is the place god is. He went on to say that there are treasures in heaven, there is reward in heaven. He believes that there are neighborhoods in heaven, because Jesus said he went to prepare mansions for us. Heaven is a place in heaven where you can eat all you want and never get heavy, there is all kinds of food and pastries in heaven except devil's food cake. Heaven is not an abstract idea, it is not a state of mind, it's a place.

After hearing this, I couldn't help remembering the openings of The Twilight Zone. Rod Sterling used to prepare us for the science fiction to follow. Imagine if you will a place......

I find it interesting that heaven is a physical place. Not the look in a newborn's eyes. Not the feeling one gets from feeding the hungry, tending to the sick.
What if heaven is but a moment in time. What if heaven is no more that a fleeting single moment, The way the wind blows over a field of wild flowers. What if it is no more that a single raindrop. What if heaven is caught in the kiss from your mother. What if heaven is the time you spend playing catch with your dog.

What if you were so caught up in religion that you couldn't see heaven. What if the miracles were right in front of you all the time. What if the only evil there is in the world was not seeing the miracles.

I would love to believe that heaven is a huge gay disco, where the music is relentless and the bar never closes and I looked good in spandex.

Reality check... Heaven is not a private country club, a secret society, noone has to apply for membership. Water dunking is not required. The promise that you will be guaranteed eternal life, if you follow... is so last millennium. First, it's a guarantee you can't cash in on, until its too late. Why can't we be good for goodness sake. Why must the proverbial carrot be dangled in front of you, in order for you to love they neighbor. Is religion nothing more than "let's make a deal" you follow us, give us your money, and we will let you have what is behind curtain number 2, but only after you die. What if there was no prize, no curtain number 2 ? What if religion was a hoax, nothing more than a multi level marketing scheme.
You buy this invisible product, and the payment is only 10% of your earnings, and in return you will win a all expense paid trip to heaven, the catch is you get the vacation after death. How old are we? Do we only go to the dentist only for the lollipop? Is this life really a giant box of Cracker Jacks?

No one would really buy this, or would they. Economic chief Cardinal Sergio Sebastiani presented the Vatican's 2002 annual financial statement, showing revenue of $173,525,000. Yes that is 173 million dollars... This is just one religion. 173 million and yet there are still hungry and poor people all over the planet.
I think we are being ripped off. Why are we struggling to make ends meat, pay for medical insurance, when the Vatican has 173 million? Will any of it be ear marked for poverty, famine, disease??

Do I know for certain that there is a god..NO I do not think that there a place called heaven or hell. I believe that we make our own heaven and hell right here. If you decide to follow the yellow brick road, like Dorothy, you will not find what paradise, but just a man pulling some strings.

for me the purpose of life is to live a decent life for it's own sake, not for the reward.

love thy neighbor, just because.... not because of what you will get!!!!

You find peace and love on your journey